Spirit

Just a quick post to thank you for visiting. Here’s hoping that the next decade, and the next five years of this blog, bring even more zany BS to cover and rant about. Get smashed, turn it up, take photos, and remember: never try to relight duds!…

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

“That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

“That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their safety and happiness.”

Happy Fourth of July, lovelies. May all your days be as independent as this one.

One

Here’s a photo of the new tat a week after I got it. Little scabs have covered the dots, and a slightly more raised one formed on the star, but everything looks well so far.

I may get the three inner dots increased in size, and enlarge the star so that the colors are more distinct. But obviously it needs to heal all the way before the decision can be made.

Two

The blue on the star, shown here uncovering itself, looks exactly right…not so sure about the red yet. I’ve been using Dial antibacterial soap twice a day, and Aveeno lotion whenever I think of it. Being so tiny, the tattoo marks have barely itched, but they’re in an easy place to bump and get dirty–especially while walking all over campus in flip-flops.

All in all, I’m pleased, even if it needs a bit of touching-up. This past week has been fun, looking down and seeing my own private constellation, almost unnoticeable to anyone but me. I’m glad I got it, and look forward to the next one!

Almost two years ago, in 2006, I got my first tattoo. After the battle that was art school and my year in Europe, I wanted a symbol to commemorate the strength of will that got me through those trials, a reminder of all I had to hang on to in times of despair. So I got a tattoo of a modified infinity symbol on the inside of my right wrist, my writing hand, a knot on the end of my rope to keep from slipping off.

The actual experience of getting the tattoo was another story. My tattoo artist at Euphoria was very arrogant and condescending, questioning my readiness to get a tattoo at all simply because I didn’t like the design he drew. I ended up going with my own design, and I still love it, but the experience left a questionable taste in the back of my mind–a feeling that I had not been entirely validated, that yet another thing in my life had been subtly undermined. No regrets, you understand…just a slightly different learning experience than I’d intended.

This is a photo of my left ankle, seated on a bench in Capital City Tattooz on Tennessee Street. They’d been recommended to me by a friend; so, after getting yet more arrogant attitude from some of the other shops in town, I paid them a visit. The tattoo artist, Jason, understood immediately what I wanted when I gave him the design, and took the time to help me adjust it to perfection. Whenever I expressed doubt, he made sure to remind me that it was my body, and that I had the right to tweak anything as long as I needed to.

One

I visited Friday night, but took the evening to think it over before going in Saturday afternoon. I’d chosen this design around New Year’s as my next tat, but various things had prevented me from taking the step. After a particularly intense Ostara ceremony, I understood inside myself that it was time. Body modifications are for me not just commemorations and symbols, but real, living anchors in the physical of energies and intentions that I’d like to ground in my life. I find that the positive, laid-back atmosphere of Capital City was a great place to acknowledge and anchor in a tattoo, the feelings of pride in my accomplishments and optimism in my future that I’ve been feeling lately–as anyone who knows me realizes, those emotions were hard fought for and won.

Two years ago, I set my face against despair and activated a willpower that I only had faith in possessing. Two years later, I get to celebrate the accuracy of that faith.

Two

My tattoo was of the constellation Orion, worked in brown dots to resemble little beauty spots. I have plenty of those naturally, and I like to think of myself as an inverse night sky. The constellation Orion has been one of the few things in my life that has stayed constant–no matter where I move, whether I am a success or a failure there, whether my heart is filled with agony or wicked excitement–I know that for half of the year, I can look up and spot that man in the sky. Always there. Silent. Luminous. Mine.

Three

If we are our own constellations, collections of points and void, and if we make our own meanings out of ourselves and truly do construct our own narratives, then mine has less to do with the dark space between than with the light shining eternally out. So what if there’s more darkness than light sometimes? What matters is not quantity, but constancy. The permanence of a tattoo is a balm to one who’s experienced an excess of change. As I grow into adulthood, the ability to create stability for myself has been a lifesaving blessing.

Both of my tats so far have been simple to the point of invisibility, and I like it that way. I’ve always wanted my body art to seem like it rose up naturally from within me, to be seen only by those who are looking closely. An unexpected bit of meaning, floating on my surface. Here is a photo taken Saturday afternoon, immediately after removing the bandage.

Four

Out of the seven marks that I chose to comprise the tattoo, one is an eight-pointed star, blue and red. This star, however tiny, also holds various meanings for me–which is another blog entry entirely.

It takes multiple inner steps for me to confront and act on the desire to mark my own body. I don’t do it lightly…but I do try to show a sense of humor in what I choose to do with myself. The only thing stronger than being able to turn one’s back on despair, is to be able to stare it in the eye, and laugh.

Thank you, last two years.