Three Questions for Alito

1. How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy sex with the loving and wonderful people I meet, when I feel all the while like some baggy-eyed, cretinous politician has crawled inside my very uterus and claimed squatters’ rights there?
2. How the fuck am I supposed to sanctify lust, to encourage people to explore their gorgeous sexuality, when the prospect of ruined lives hangs over their head like a rusty guillotine? Just as antiquated, just as barbaric, just as totally inappropriate to twenty-first-century thought, the stripping away of the right to choose condemns us all into perpetual moral childhood–women and men alike.
3. How the fuck did this happen? I hope every human being who voted for Bush is escorted into Hell by Becky Bell.

In the words of the incomparable Zaphod Beeblebrox, “I’ll just go find something else for my entire life to be about.”

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